Manipulative relationships are abusive and incredibly damaging. It can even be the most traumatic experience a person will ever have. More often than not, victims of this type of abuse are blind to the Narcissistic manipulation.
They rarely suspect that the people who should love them the most, are using tactics of psychological control. Instead of providing happiness and bolstering success, these loved ones become obstacles to achievement.
how are we supposed to cope with these kinds of relationships?
The hard truth is that changing a narcissist's behavior is almost impossible. Usually, the best option is to walk away. But when that person is a parent, relative, spouse, or another significant figure to you, it makes having a narcissist in your life even more difficult.
When you can identify their narcissistic manipulation tactics, you enable yourself to respond positively - outsmarting them, and protecting yourself from harm. Here are 6 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics.
6 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics You Need to Know.
1 - Amplification.
Narcissists like to amplify failure and push success aside when it comes to their relationships. You'll see your achievements go unnoticed and uncelebrated, while your shortcomings and mistakes are highlighted with painful detail.
The end goal is to belittle you, so that the narcissist can assume the center of attention. When you’re drained of energy and full of doubt, finding success will be more challenging.
2 - Shaming.
Most manipulators know that they can turn the pain of shame into a weapon. That's why they love humiliation. Frequent insults that highlight disgust, contempt, or disappointment are favorites within their arsenal, and they prefer to pull them out in front of an audience.
The goal is to produce feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy, which subdue you into submission. If you fall prey to this narcissistic tactics , you may become trapped in a vicious cycle of negative thought patterns and feelings.
3 - Enmeshment.
Narcissists have no trouble crossing boundaries, and this disregard can evolve into a form of narcissistic manipulation . Enmeshment is a term that refers to relationships where personal boundaries are unclear.
Without respect for another person's individuality and specific needs, manipulators will say or do whatever they want - toward you, in front of you, or behind your back.
Protesting or calling on morality won't make a difference. Sometimes, this process is covert - and damage increases over time, until it's too late.
Enmeshment deters you from speaking up about your emotions, getting support from others, and establishing healthy boundaries. It makes it difficult to effect positive changes - for yourself and those you care about.
4 - Rationalization.
When a narcissist can't evade their behavior, they will rationalize it. Their justifications and excuses are often full of false reasons or fraudulent perspectives.
Despite the fact that these rationalizations are full of lies, others will often believe them and see their side as understandable or even acceptable - especially when these lies are spread behind your back.
The manipulator will likely change their story based on who they're talking to, as well. The end goal is to escape ridicule. The narcissist wants you off their case so they can pursue their behavior with entitlement. They want you to feel dumb, inexperienced, or like you just don't understand them.
5 - Playing the Victim.
Even though narcissists make victims of others, they love playing the victim. They will excuse their behavior or garner attention by claiming their suffering is the result of circumstance or another person.
You can recognize this narcissistic tactics when they say they "had no other option," or if they complain all the time. They might also say that the person they are manipulating is actually the one manipulating them.
Narcissists do this because they want to get pity, sympathy, or compassion from others.
It helps them escape blame while gaining support from more unsuspecting victims. Overall, a narcissist's goal is to control. These narcissistic manipulation tactics degrade victims' sense of autonomy, erode identity, and diminish social standing.
Once weakened, the manipulator can easily dominate their victims. Although these behaviors signal antisocial traits that indicate personality disorders, almost everyone displays some of these behaviors at one time or another. The key to recognizing an unhealthy relationship with a manipulative person is identifying patterns.
Because many of these narcissistic tactics are covert, it may take years to see the insidious patterns of abuse - especially if you have a history of abuse or are an overly forgiving person. However, when you know these strategies and can name them, it will be more difficult for a narcissist to use them on you.
6 - Deflection, Diversion, And Evasion.
Narcissists use this narcissistic manipulation to get out of answering direct questions and avoid being caught in lies.
They may deflect, by transferring the conversation onto you; divert, by steering the topic toward something else; or evade, by responding with something unrelated, vague, or meaningless.
The narcissist's goal is to confuse and redirect attention. This way, they don't have to take responsibility for their behavior.
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