Betrayal is something no one wants to go through - yet many people do. It can wreak emotional havoc, and take months, or even years, to overcome. But the deep pain of betrayal only occurs after you’ve made the mistake of trusting the wrong person.
If you can catch the signs of betrayal before you get stabbed in the back, you can protect yourself from the worst. Removing toxic people from your life might be hard at first, but it’s for the best.
In fact, mental health professionals suggest cutting ties with toxic people to promote a healthier and happier life - whether they are friends, family members, or your significant other.
The good news is that there are some unmistakable behaviors that someone who is about to betray you will display. Check out these 7 warning signs of betrayal.
how to know if someone is going to betray you
1 - They’re Too Nice.
Some people are genuinely nice, and it doesn’t mean they’ll betray you. The problem is when someone is too nice. They might force-feed you compliments, buy you little gifts, or do things for you all the time - without you ever asking or wanting them to. Usually, people like this aren’t genuine.
They’re fake and manipulative. Their performance will trick you into trusting them - so that they can take advantage of you in the future. Like sweet sticky paper to a fly, their niceness is a trap.
2 - They Guard Their Phone.
Not everyone is comfortable sharing their phone password with friends or lovers - and that’s okay. It becomes a problem when someone becomes overly cautious about handing their phone over for casual interactions or leaving it out - especially when they weren’t in the past.
If someone is planning on betraying you (or already has), they’ll guard their phone (and their secrets) with their life. These behaviors may appear in the form of a changed password, phone calls taken in separate rooms, making sure you can’t see the screen when they text, or seeming paranoid about notifications.
If someone is hiding things on their phone or keeping secrets from you, it’s probably something to do with you, or something they don’t want you to know about.
3 - They Act Out Of Character.
Once you get to know someone, it tends to be fairly easy to predict how they might act or respond to certain situations. If you notice that someone isn’t acting like themselves, it’s a sign that something’s up.
They could be subtle signs and might not be cause for immediate concern - but if instances of yelling, complaining or zoning out during conversations continue to arise, you might be in trouble. Unexplainable changes in behavior toward you could indicate that someone is about to betray you.
4 - They Purposely Exclude You.
Having a fear of missing out is normal, and it shouldn’t always be a cause for alarm. But if a friend or loved one is purposely making you feel like you don’t belong, something is up.
Being excluded from group activities you used to enjoy together, could be a sign you’re about to be betrayed.
It could be post-work drinks at the bar, Sunday night poker games, or even casual conversations. It’s a sign that they don’t want to spend time with you, and it could also mean that they’re keeping secrets from you.
Feeling like you’re being excluded is terrible - and you might not even notice at first - but there are plenty of ways to find out if your friends are getting together without you.
how to know if someone is trying to betray you
5 - They Begin To Pull Away.
Pulling away is a common sign that you’re about to be betrayed - especially if you live with this person or usually see them often. If it’s your partner, they might be pulling away if they don’t come home for dinner, avoid seeing you when possible, or provide fewer details about their personal life spent outside of the relationship.
Regarding a relationship with a friend or co-worker, you might find them avoiding you in the breakroom, not sitting next to you when they usually would, not eating lunch with you anymore, or even ignoring you when you run into each other.
If someone in your life is pulling away, it means that they’re beginning to focus more on their life apart from you. Instead of doing things to keep the relationship alive, they’ve decided it’s best to let everything fade gently into the past.
When you ask them about it, they’ll tell you everything is okay - and maybe they believe that. But the truth is that actions speak louder than words, and they’ve shown you that they don’t care about your relationship anymore.
6 - They Lie To You.
If someone was honest and trustworthy at one point but now lies to your face, betrayal is in the near future. If you catch someone lying multiple times, they’re probably trying to cover something up.
Someone might lie about where they’ve been, what they’ve been doing, or who they’ve been seeing. They could also lie about spending money, what they think, or other essential details.
If you’re dealing with a partner who’s close to having an affair, they’re probably lying because they aren’t 100% certain if they want to be with you or break things off - especially if there are other ties involved, like children or a mortgage.
However, honesty is foundational in any relationship. Without it, you only witness lies, betrayal, and disaster.
7 - They Begin To Demean, Bully Or Belittle You.
Sometimes when someone has a problem, they’ll demean, belittle, or berate you - instead of having an honest conversation. If someone treats you with disrespect, it’s a clear sign of potential betrayal - especially if they used to be kind.
They might become outright verbally abusive, but the bullying could also be passive-aggressive. Instead of being honest about their feelings, this person is trying to give you a good reason to end the relationship. If it works, you may never know or understand what happened; and if it doesn’t work, they may push you to your limits.
This kind of behavior indicates narcissistic personality disorder. If you experience verbal, physical, or emotional abuse from someone, know that you do have other options. When faced with betrayal, it’s natural to want to retaliate.
When we’re hurt, it’s common to want to hurt others - but that mindset is toxic. Instead of stooping to the level of the betrayer, you can try to repair the relationship as best you can for your own wellbeing. Even if the person is not receptive, you can confront them about what happened, discuss how you feel, and forgive them - whether you receive an apology or not.
It might not be easy, but you can make peace, grieve the loss of a relationship in your own time, and move on. Don’t forget that moving toward a happier, healthier future involves learning from the past.
Avoid being hurt again by watching out for these signs of betrayal.
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